5 Tips and Tricks To Avoid & Get Over High School Drama
March 23, 2018
At some point in time, we’ve all been there. We think that we’ve made new friends at school and then, BAM! Drama hits you out of nowhere. Now, your best friend has turned into your worst nightmare, the tension builds and you worry that everyone around you knows your deepest secrets. We’ve all fallen victim to this epidemic at some point in time, whether it be a minor confrontation or a full-fledged battle between friend groups. Most of the time, when you’re the subject of drama and gossip, you feel like it’s the end of the world and the rumors will follow you for the rest of your high school career.
Seriously though, come on guys, we’re already young adults and, before you know it, you’re going to be out in the world on our own. Even in adulthood, you hear about the gossip and back-stabbing that occur in the workplace or in people’s private lives. If you ask me, the whole situation is rather petty, but, the truth is, this is the reality of the world that we live in today.
So, how do we avoid getting consumed by the drama in our lives without becoming an island? Here are 10 tips and tricks to avoid and move past high school drama:
1. Only confide in people that you know you can trust.
Practice self-control and try to limit the number of people you confide in. A majority of the time, when people ask you about your personal problems, you end up divulging more information than necessary — whether you mean to or not. Even though it feels really good to finally vent about all the issues that you’ve been bottling up inside and you really want to talk to people about them when they ask, it’s usually best if you don’t disclose information about your private life to every person who asks you what’s wrong. Usually, confiding in anyone and everyone who will listen about your personal life, chances are you’re going to tell at least one person who doesn’t necessarily have the best intentions and doesn’t have your best interest in mind. This is how word begins spreads, and before you know it, you’ve become the subject of gossip.
If you are looking to avoid this problem and someone you aren’t very close with asks you to divulge information about your personal life, its best to just politely smile and say thanks but no thanks, and wait to confide in someone that you know you can trust. This way, you avoid falling prey to the rumor mill. Plus, it isn’t anyone else’s place nor business because it’s your life.
2. Tackle the conflict early on to avoid further drama.
Usually, when other people get involved in issues that neither involve nor effect them directly, the gravity of the conflict is blown out of proportion, rumors and gossip being to spread, and the conflict can no longer be isolated to the two people who were initially involved. In some cases when the rumors and gossip have grown out of control over an extended period of time, it becomes difficult to differentiate fact and fiction — before you know it, you can’t even remember where or with whom the drama even began. Because of this, it is extremely important that you identify the source of the drama early on so you can try your best to resolve whatever conflict(s) spurred the drama with each party involved before it spreads to other third parties and more people get involved.
This is one of the most effective methods of putting drama to rest because it avoids the involvement of people who should have never been involved in the conflict in the first place. In the case that you do end up addressing the people involved in the drama, remember that your goal is resolve conflicts and not to further the drama, so make sure to always address other parties with honesty, respect, and an open mind. You can start by stating your standpoint, but, at some point, you need make sure that you hear what each party has to say because there are two sides to each story. Once you feel that you’ve identified the origin of the drama and reach a central focus, you and the other parties can move towards reaching a reasonable solution.
3. Put yourself in a positive state and mind.
A lot of the time, it’s easy to get into negative headspace when you’re caught up in drama. What you may not realize is that when you are in a negative mindset and go into a situation thinking there will be a bad outcome, more than likely, you will experience a bad outcome — the same goes for having a positive mindset. It all comes down to mind over matter.
When you develop a positive outlook, you more likely to have more positive outcomes. Some of the ways that you can enter this state of mind is to improve your sense of humor. If you improve your sense of humor, your more likely to laugh more. And, you know what they say: laughter is the best medicine. Another effective method towards staying positive is by improving your ability to rise above. To put it in Michelle Obama’s words, “When they go low, we go high.” This method is effective because you avoid confrontation and avoid future confrontations and drama. If someone makes a rude comment, rise above by politely telling them to stop or by simply ignoring their comment as a whole.
4. Avoid gossiping with other people.
Just about everyone gossips. We can’t help it — it’s in our nature as social beings. And we all know that once you start sharing juicy pieces of gossip with others, it’s hard to stop. But, if you want to avoid drama and you hate it so much, stop perpetuating the never ending cycle of drama by gossiping about others. A lot of you may think it’s ok because the other person started talking behind your back first, but this goes back to Tip #3. Don’t stoop to their level and rise about the gossip because, if you don’t, then you’re no better than the people that hurt you. Another good way to resist the urge to gossip is to avoid hanging around others who you know perpetuate drama regularly. We all know at least one person who is always looking for some reason to stir up trouble. So, if you can help it, avoid them like the plague. If you really think about it, you don’t need friends like that because, chances are, if they are talk behind peoples backs with you, they are talking behind your back to other people too.
5. Live by the Golden Rule.
The most important tip of all is to live by the Golden Rule: treat others as you wish to be treated. One of the best ways to avoid the urge to take part in drama is by always asking yourself. How would I feel if someone was doing this to me? Or, would I want other people to know this about me? If someone comes to you with a problem and trusts you enough to confide in you, make sure to respect their privacy and keep their personal issues confidential. If you don’t, you are perpetuating negativity that will come back to you later on. You know what they say: what goes around, comes around. Try to avoid sabotaging others for your personal gain. It isn’t worth it in the end and, at the end of the day, someone always loses in the end. And finally, try to be genuinely nice to everyone, no matter how rude or hurtful they may have been to you or others in the past. At the end of the day, not only does living by the Golden Rule help you resolve and avoid drama, but it is a good philosophy to live by because, at the end of the day, it only benefits you and the people around you.